I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
