you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
