K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
he puts the penis in happiness.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
