you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
