If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
