Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize