Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
