It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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