and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
