I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
