I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize