I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
