I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
