Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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