my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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