I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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