No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My pussy is not your playground.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
