I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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