I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
