I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
