i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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