My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
