It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
