You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize