i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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