please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
