You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Randomize
