i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
