Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
