This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
