There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
