did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
