Me. At least after what I've been through.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
