Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
