I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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