I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
