I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
