To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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