Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
