it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
