i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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