i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
