Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
