We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
