I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
