I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
