So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It's official drugs can't kill me
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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