If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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