just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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