dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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