Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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