I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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