you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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