shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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