hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
