Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
