Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Couch. On fire.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
