We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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