We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
