I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I touched a dick in church today
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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