On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize