Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
